


Tattoos and a Switchblade Attitude

by strawberrylace



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Drinking, M/M, Tumblr Prompt, hux is a drunk hot mess, i couldn't think of a good title sorry, kylo ren is a tattoo artist, this was an interesting one to write
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-24
Updated: 2016-06-24
Packaged: 2018-07-16 22:43:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7287646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberrylace/pseuds/strawberrylace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hux is a hot mess drunk that his friends can't control. Based on this prompt: “You can’t get tattooed drunk. Come back in the morning and if you still want my name tattooed on your ass, we’ll talk.” AU</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tattoos and a Switchblade Attitude

**Author's Note:**

> I enjoyed writing drunk Hux more than I realized, haha. Also, friends don't let friends get tattoos drunk.

“You know they can’t just…throw me out like this…IT’S TOO EARLY!” 

The tall woman winced, turning her head away as she helped her red headed friend walk back to her car. Did he really have to shout in her ear like that? God forbid, if he did it again, she was going to throw him into a dumpster. She was in no mood to be dealing with belligerent drunks tonight, even if they were her best friend. 

Phasma only wanted to make Hux feel better, especially after the brutal break-up he had with Parker. Everything was fine, according to Hux, they were living in domesticated bliss, soon to be engaged, until Parker announced that he met someone else. Now Hux was alone with a cat, blindsided but what he could’ve done wrong. What did he do to drive Parker away? That was the question Hux had been asking all night. 

A night out on the town was the perfect distraction for Hux. Phasma, along with their friend Mitaka, went out to the local watering holes to take Hux’s mind off his relationship. At first, Hux had to be dragged to the first bar but by the time they made it to the second one, he was feeling the alcohol kick in. With every shot that Hux took, he was feeling looser and all the fucks he’d given about his breakup seemed to fly away. That was, until he bumped into one of his ex’s friends and things took a nosedive from there. After some unfriendly words were exchanged, punches were thrown and soon Hux was being escorted out of the bar, along with Phasma and Mitaka. 

“I-I totally kicked his ass too, didn’t I Mitaka?” Hux asked, a crooked smile on his face. 

Mitaka sighed. There really was no winner in the fight. While he knew that Hux could’ve easily beaten that guy, he knew that Hux had no business getting himself involved in the first place. But what did he know? Hux shooed Mitaka away as he tried to Hux to back away. Phasma tried to intervene but the fight had already broken out. They tried to plead their case to the bouncer not to throw them out but it was no use. Look where that landed them. At least they were heading home now. 

“Hey, hey guys!” 

Hux stopped walking and let Phasma and Mitaka walk along without him. He stood in front of the shop with the blue neon sign buzzing above him. Perhaps it was the state of inebriation but seeing that sign, that bright blue sign, gave him a brilliant idea. He was so entranced by the sign that he almost didn’t notice that he was about to fall over on a pole. Luckily Phasma was there to catch him before he fell. 

“Chrises, Hux!” Phasma crid out. “You’re drunk enough as it is! Can’t you carry yourself for more than 5 seconds?” 

“Guys, I want one,” said Hux, pointing to the sign. 

Mitaka looked up and stared at Hux quizzically. “What, a sign?”

“No, you nimrod!” He punched Mitaka in the arm. “What the sign says!” 

Hux pointed at the sign again, looking at both Phasma and Mitaka. The two of them looked up and then back at Hux, their eyes widened. 

“Are you shitting me?” asked Phasma. 

“I want one,” said Hux affirmatively. 

“No.” 

“Why not?” 

“Well, for starters, you’re drunk!” 

“Wouldn’t alcohol make this less painful though?” 

“To be honest, you don’t seem like the tattoo kind of guy,” said Mitaka sheepishly. 

Hux punched him in the arm once again. Only this time, a little harder. Mitaka could feel it bruising as he rubbed the tender spot. 

“Hux, this wasn’t how it was supposed to end,” Phasma shook her head, running her fingers through her short, blonde hair. “It’s bad enough we got kicked out over something stupid you did and-”

“Well it serves that asshole right for trying to tell me how Parker and I were!” Hux argued. “He thinks he knows every little thing about us, does he? Well, he doesn’t! So I gave him the ol’ one two!” 

Oh, he gave him something, Phasma thought. She was in the middle of chatting up a pretty brunette when suddenly she saw a frantic young man with brown hair calling for her and pointing out Hux beating the crap out of some stranger. Poor Mitaka tried to stop the fight but he wasn’t as tough as Hux was. As small as Hux was, he could certainly pack a punch. 

“I’m going in there,” Hux declared, stumbling towards the doors of the tattoo parlor. 

“Hux, no!” Phasma grabbed his shoulder but he pushed her hand away.  
“Hux, are you really sure about this?” Mitaka asked. 

Phasma stared at Mitaka in disbelief. “Hux, you’re insane! There are much healthier ways to get over a break-up. Getting a tattoo is not one of them!” 

“I don’t need a tattoo to get over some stupid boy,” Hux spat. “I’m doing it for me! You just watch. When I walk out, I’m gonna be a whole new Hux! One that doesn’t take crap from their cheatin’ no-good scoundrel ex-boyfriend!” 

Mitaka and Phasma didn’t follow Hux into the tattoo parlor. Instead, they stood outside the door, waiting for him to change his mind. 

The parlor was so much brighter than how it looked outside. Hux squinted his eyes as he entered the parlor, looking around at all the tattoo designs that decorated the walls. He stumbled over to the front desk where a tall man with long black hair tied in a ponytail and prominent facial features sat with a notebook in his hand, tapping his pencil along the spiral. Hux looked at the shirt he was wearing and couldn’t make out the obscure band name from the fancy lettering. The guy behind the desk looked up at Hux and then back down at his notebook. 

“Can I help you?” he asked, doodling in his notebook. 

“You do tattoos?” Hux asked, trying to sound as sober as possible. 

The black haired guy raised his eyebrow. “Umm…yes. Is there something you need?” 

“I want to get a tattoo.” 

“Okay then. Uh, where would” 

“On my ass!” Hux slapped his ass and wiggled it in front of the guy, his hand rubbing it up and down. He was not amused by Hux’s drunken behavior, nor did he have the time for it. 

“Sir, I can’t do that.” 

“But why?” Hux whined. “What if I got your name on my ass? Would you do it then? What is your name?” 

“Kylo. Kylo Ren.” 

Hux scrunched his nose and then burst out laughing, nearly falling over sideways.  
“Yeah, I want your name tattooed on my ass! Can you do it?” 

Kylo thought about throwing his ass out on the street. It was late and Kylo wanted to close the shop up a half hour ago. He needed to get back home and sleep at least four hours before waking up again the next morning and opening up the shop. If only he had just closed up the parlor like he wanted to. Bur really, he actually wanted to keep it open, in case that cute guy did walk in. Well, Kylo’s wish was granted…sort of. Now he just wanted this guy to go home and just sober the fuck up because he reaked of tequila at the moment. 

“Listen, I don’t know who you think you are coming in here, demanding me to tattoo you but you are drunk. I think you should go home before you do something stupid,” said Kylo calmly. 

Hux blew a raspberry in Kylo’s face. “I’ve done enough stupid shit tonight. I’m completely wasted, got into a fight, got my friends thrown out of the bar.” Hux pointed out Mitaka and Phasma, waiting paitently outside for him, to Kylo. He looked out and waved hello shyly. 

“You’ve seemed to have had a night,” Kylo deadpanned. 

“All because my stupid ex-boyfriend left me for another man…” 

Kylo and Hux were quiet. Suddenly, Hux’s head began to spin and was feeling very lightheaded. He leaned himself against the wall, holding his head up. Kylo got up from his desk and helped see Hux out of the parlor. 

“What are you doing?” Hux asked, as Kylo escorted him out. 

Kylo sighed. “Listen, I’m sorry about your ex. He’s an idiot and there are better guys out there for you. I’m sure any guy would be lucky to have a good lookin’ guy like you.” 

Hux smiled weakly, looking down at the ground. 

“But I’m telling you this for your own safety: you can’t get tattooed drunk. I could get fired and you may not like it once you’re sobered up. I’ll tell ya what though. Come back in the morning and if you still want my name tattooed on your ass, we’ll talk.” 

Hux looked down at the card Kylo had between his fingers. He noticed the intricate constellations that were etched all over his arm, tattoos connecting with each other. They looked like a beautiful cosmic mess on his arm. He probably had others, more beautiful than what he could see. 

“Let me know,” Kylo smirked with a wink. 

Hux held the card in both hands as Kylo walked back into the tattoo parlor and sat back down behind the desk, continuing his drawing. With his friends holding him up, Hux stumbled his way into Phasma’s car but not before throwing up all over Mitaka’s shoes. 

 

It was early in the morning and Kylo had to open up the Knights of Ren tattoo parlor. Ideally, he would have liked to have slept in but he had to cover for one of his coworkers. On the plus side, it was extra money. 

Kylo thought about the guy that came in late last night, mostly about how belligerently drunk he was stumbling into the parlor like he was some general. He didn’t look like the kind of guy who would get a tattoo, with his sharp clothes, perfectly combed hair. But there have been an array of characters Kylo had seen walk through the doors in his time so one couldn’t judge too hastily. Still, the guy probably only wanted one because he was feeling low after a breakup. Who could blame him? He never did catch his name either…

It was a quarter after 10 and Kylo’s first appointment wasn’t until 10:45am. Sitting behind the desk, Kylo continued to doodle around in his notebook. His head perked up when he heard the door open. Looking up, he saw a familiar face walking over to the desk. The man from last night looked like a totally different person, dressed in a dark blue shirt and jeans that fit his slender frame. His once nicely combed red hair was now a bedhead mess and the dark circles under his eyes suggested not much sleep was had. But Kylo was damned if he still didn’t look cute. 

“Can I help you?” asked Kylo, setting his notebook down. 

“Hey, remember me?” Hux laughed nervously. “I’m the guy that tried to get your name tattooed on my ass?” 

Kylo smiled and chuckled. “Oh yeah, you looked familiar. Crazy night, wasn’t it…uh..?” 

“Hux,” he answered. “Name’s Hux. And sorry, I know my behavior was completely out of line but I just figured I would apologize for harassing you like that last night. I can assure you that the man you saw last night is in no way reflective of who I really am.” 

“It’s alright,” Kylo shrugged. “I mean, you definitely did provide me with enough entertainment right before I closed up.” 

Hux tapped his fingers on the desk and bit his lip. “I know you told me to come back if I still wanted your name tattooed on my ass and, well…I thought about it.” 

“Uh huh?” 

“I just need to know something…how long is it going to take and just how painful is it going to be?” 

Kylo’s eyes widened. He was only half kidding about Hux coming back in the morning for that tattoo but he would be lying if he wasn’t impressed with the balls Hux had. 

“So you really want this, don’t you?” asked Kylo. 

Hux nodded. “Absolutely.” 

“I gotta warn you, it’s going to hurt for some time. And I want you to be absolutely sure that you really want this.” 

“I really want this. I want this to be like, my fresh start! It’ll mark a new chapter from this day forward.” 

This guy wasn’t going to budge and while Kylo still thought he was absolutely insane, he admired Hux’s tenacity. He even wondered if he should take this guy out afterward. But that was something they could talk about later. 

“I gotta admit, you’re a ballsy guy and I like your style,” Kylo smiled. “You might just be my favorite person I’ll work on yet.”

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to leave feedback and come find me on [here](http://www.coopershangover.tumblr.com) if you like! Thanks for reading!


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